These weekly posts show the Triad teachings. Starting at week 1 and progressing through the weeks will help you see the logic of the series.
WOUNDS. Foundation #1
There are as many wounds as there are people. Even though we share common human problems and experiences, wounding is a very personal affair. Some people are relatively unaware of the wounds in their life. Let me use myself and my wife as examples to begin to approach the complexity and depth of human wounding. I was born in the Midwest in 1944. My wife was born in Wisconsin in 1941. I was raised by my natural mother and father in a stable home. I have never experienced any of the (unfortunately) “normal” life wounds we are familiar with hearing told: abuse, abandonment, alcoholism, etc. My wife had a similar upbringing with the exception that her brother died accidentally and tragically when she was 12 years old, in a way that, as you will see, was wounding to her. Since we had such stable and benign childhoods why talk about wounds? The answer is because I have discovered that my adult problems relate to my childhood wounds. What adult problems? Nothing so terrible by the world’s standards, but still a problem compared to a victorious overcoming Christian life. For example, in my case, I had for years suffered from lustful thinking and temptations. This limited my confidence and fruitfulness. My wife suffered from being hyper-critical (both on herself and others). Only as we matured in prayer and service did we realize the extent of our bondage. Our ability to abide in Christ and walk in the Spirit was limited by these strongholds. Inner peace, contentment, communion with God, effectiveness in ministry, love for others, a good marriage, walking in newness of life…..etc. It all results, in part, as we experience deliverance from strongholds. And since strongholds rest, in part, on wounding we must deal with our wounds.
So what wounds do “normal” people experience? Many. Legion. Secular culture has in fact so focused on the wounding side of psychology that we now have people blaming society and their parents for their poor choices. It has become so trite as to deserve this joke: “oh, well I killed that old lady and robbed her to buy cocaine because my mother didn’t breast feed me”. So what is the truth? The truth is that we get wounded and those experiences contribute to our adult problems. Can I put a percentage on the role that wounding plays? Well, let’s just say 25% or less. So, now, what wounds did my wife and I receive? Let me just share some facts about my natural family that will set the stage to allow me to describe a fragment of my own story. My father died at age 70 in a motel, in bed, in the act of committing adultery with his mistress. My brother is a pedophile that lived in a nudist colony in France for some time. Two of my sisters had multiple affairs, suffered divorce, and lived on the leading edge of the sexual revolution. In my childhood home there was little yelling or fighting, but a great deal of marital tension. After I got older I began to realize that my father was engaged in a series of affairs. As adults, my siblings and myself pieced together a picture of constant infidelity, betrayal and division between my parents. There was trouble in Beaver Cleaver’s house after all. The prevailing evil, the “generational curse” that came to me was sexual perversion, promiscuity and adultery. Some of my earliest memories are of childhood sexual behavior. Always with other children, usually at my initiation. By age 5 I had been caught so many times that my mother told me they were going to have to send me to a reform school. My father could not deal with my behavior; effective discipline, prayer and deliverance were not options. This problem followed me into adolescence where again there was series of encounters and traumatic legal consequences. By college, in the early 60’s , the die was cast; sex was one of my “problems”.
Now, my wife’s family did not have this problem. Neither she nor her siblings had much sexual confusion or transgression . Her family, instead, was plagued by depression, control and guilt. She could never do right. As the first born she wanted to please but never could. Her brother and sister share with her a life of constant failure to do right. The depression and control in her childhood household were of pathologic proportions. It resulted in “adult children of Norwegians” who grew up paralyzed to act, never succeeding in any venture or activity; full of regret and guilt. Failures in career, education, relationships and inner strength. As in my situation, her siblings, to varying degrees, display the full fruits of her generational curse in their shattered lives. She and I in comparison to our siblings are healed, strong successful people. Only in the subtle areas of inner impurity can someone detect our past. When, however, the battleground is the soul, and the cost is Christian victory, then our strongholds are still real problems and the wounds must still be healed.
Next: The lie about the wound.